the last night of summer

Ah, the house is settling. Tonight they are finally quiet. It is the end of summer. The heads are hanging, excuses are running, feet are pounding upstairs--one more kiss, one more drink of water... a 15 year old boy is rushing last minute poetry assignments, "annotating" to the sound of Rowdy Gaines commenting on tonight's Olympics. A soon to be college girl is upstairs in her room hiding from it all. Most likely VERY HAPPY that this annual ritual is finally behind her, but knowing her, probably a little nostalgic as well. This was a child that got excited about the back to school run. According to her, "There's nothing like the smell of fresh notebook paper."

Normally this would be an exciting night for the responsible one. Sleep would come easily in anticipation of the FIRST morning. Rushing them off to the bus, and then into the house to coffee and paper. The year would loom before me full of possibilities. This would be the year I would finish scraping all the popcorn ceilings (yea right), or this would be the year I would re-panel the basement (again... yea right!) I would set goals and dream. And life would happen. And with the joy of that life, that list would not...

So this year we are trying something different. Since I know in my heart that "list" of things I would do with "all my free time" was always a pipe dream, I am letting it go. Tonight is an exciting night for the responsible one in a different way. One where I find myself facing a new challenge in the morning. Still rushing them off to the bus, still taking the famous mailbox picture, but then rushing myself off to schoolwork. Where I will do alot of things I have been doing for the past 18 years, just for someone else. And I think I have been pretty good at it so far, and it might be nice to get a check at the end of the week.