I have been sucked into the vortex of Facebook and I can't get out.

While I was busy "friending" people far and near I did learn a few things. I thought I might share a few pearls of wisdom-- you know, to help you make it through the season.

* DO NOT wear heels to work all day to "dress up those jeans" and THEN wear 4" heels to your husband's office party. While you will feel sexy (who can resist a hot red heel) you will find yourself UNABLE to take part in a normal conversation with anyone under 6'2". All you will be capable of thinking about is the throbbing pain in the balls of your foot. This will make you resent the boss's wife for not just standing on a chair so you didn't have to bend down to hear her.

* DO NOT allow your anxious teenagers to talk you into putting up the tree RIGHT AWAY--AS SOON as the Thanksgiving dishes are washed. This will cause you to say, "If you want it so bad, you do it." This will lead to a lopsided tree that the perfectionist in you will constantly want to rearrange -- even after the lights and bulbs are on. This will lead your teens to remind you that you are always too critical...which cannot be a good thing for them so close to Christmas.

*DO appreciate your family's affection for bacon. As "breakfast for dinner" used to be a treat, it will become OLD quite fast.

*DO remember that YOU encouraged your children to have independent thoughts. Remind yourself of this constantly when they are complaining about eggs for dinner again. Try to forget the memory of your mother's horrified description of her friend who *gasp* served canned soup and sandwiches for dinner. Tell mom that you made cordon-bleu last night.

*be happy for the lessons you have learned in special ed-- especially when to engage in conversations. Acknowledge to your oldest that yes this is a life long battle for you, but those baby steps made you very happy when you avoided the man having a conversation with his pinkie finger in Wendy's the other night.

Wendy's? Remember the complaints about eggs? Mother of the year, I'm telling you, mother of the year.


Sara said...

I'm scared of facebook----like I really need a new computer application to spend my time on.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

The heck with independent thoughts...I belong to the "Shut up and eat!" school of thought.